smoQ
"Frequently Avoided Questions"
FAQ
Questions nobody asked, answered dishonestly
Is this real quantum tech?
Define "real". Define "quantum". Define "tech". Our technology exists in a quantum superposition of being both revolutionary and completely made up.
When will you deliver?
Delivery is classical thinking. We exist in quantum time where all deadlines are simultaneously met and missed until observed by investors.
Can I get a refund?
Yes*
(*no)
How many qubits do you have?
Between 0 and ∞ depending on who's asking. For VCs: 1024. For physicists: "that's not how this works".
Is this just vaporware?
We prefer the term "quantum probabilistic product roadmap". Our technology is simultaneously shipping and not shipping.
Why should I trust you?
We've raised $500M from people who ask this question last. Also, our CEO has a verified Twitter account.
What's your tech stack?
We use quantum React with AI-powered CSS and blockchain databases. Also lots of buzzwords.js and hype.py.
Are you hiring?
Yes! We're looking for:
- Quantum janitors
- Blockchain baristas
- AI astrologers
(Positions may or may not exist)
⚠️ Quantum Legal Disclosure
All answers provided exist in a state of quantum uncertainty until observed by a qualified venture capitalist. Any resemblance to factual information is purely coincidental and probably wrong. Answers may collapse into different states when measured by regulatory agencies.